ineke.co.uk

Are there more yellow cards in the weekend before Christmas than at any time of year? Surely they all want Boxing Day off. Christmas sesh

— Chris Stark (@Chris_Stark) December 18, 2016

The Post Office are looking for three wise men to help out over the Christmas period. They need good franking sense and more.

— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) December 17, 2016

A recent cartoon for @newscientist: pic.twitter.com/UCR9YvtINh

— Tom Gauld (@tomgauld) December 12, 2016

Woman moves in with short people and they live happily ever after. @ThePoke #twofilmsdescribedwithonesentence pic.twitter.com/hEgLBG32f0

— Graham Tope (@monkey_wrangler) December 19, 2016

South West Trains makes passengers smile with festive station nameshttps://t.co/7fLQdVTX9E pic.twitter.com/Q6A98qPhAR

— i newspaper (@theipaper) December 19, 2016

"Did you manage to have a think about what you'd like for Christmas yet?" – Translation: You're three minutes away from getting socks again

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) December 19, 2016

The spirit of Christmas is peace, the miracle of Christmas is hope and the heart of Christmas is love.

— J.John (@jjohnglobal) December 20, 2016

1999:
Government: "we intend to eradicate child poverty"

2016:
Government: "we intend to eradicate child poverty unit" pic.twitter.com/7ZTa7ZDFrj

— David Schneider (@davidschneider) December 20, 2016

Gaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!!!! https://t.co/4fwggtuLYE

— Boodoomoon (@beardyman) December 20, 2016

In any one week, London Underground escalators travel the equivalent of twice around the world.

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) December 20, 2016

Borrowed from @UKCopHumour…

Think @HighwaysEngland could match (or better) this. Please.

🎅🏻

🚗💨 pic.twitter.com/A05ZAdbzLj

— Roads Policing – Surrey Police – UK (@SurreyRoadCops) December 21, 2016

How to untangle Christmas lights:
1: start untangling
2: fail
3: cry a bit
4: lie in foetal position
5: hide them in a bag until next year

— innocent drinks (@innocent) December 21, 2016

Everything you need to know about sprouts pic.twitter.com/UAr4kbdhW9

— The Poke (@ThePoke) December 24, 2016

A graph for anyone who hasn't started their Christmas shopping yet. pic.twitter.com/SJmVPaCa67

— innocent drinks (@innocent) December 24, 2016

Flashback to last Spring, when I told my E&M students they could use one side of a piece of paper as a final exam formula sheet. pic.twitter.com/S0QyLaOXyZ

— Robert McNees (@mcnees) December 16, 2016

Now loook here, Twitter: saying Christians stole the midwinter festival from pagans is like saying electricity stole lighting from candles.

— Richard Coles (@RevRichardColes) December 24, 2016